I just read the most incredible Myspace profile.

I cried. This person had something terrible happen to them in 2009, and they poured their heart out to Myspace. So I wrote this person a letter:

Dear XXXXX,

I'm a single guy a little bit older than you. I've never been married, no kids, probably can't have any anyway. I've been stuck in a rut for quite a few years, I've lived a dead end life for a while. The last 5 years I have embarked on a project of self improvement. Well this summer I had an epiphany. I learned so much about myself so fast it was scary ( At 1st I had no idea what or what was going on). I learned to not feel guilty about loving myself, bad self esteem went out the window, I learned what was triggering depressive episodes in me, how to spot the triggers in real time and figured out how to reverse their effects, dumped 51 years of emotional baggage all in 6 weeks. I'm not the person I use to be.

I guess I'm a late bloomer.
SO I decided to start a blog about my experience, and I've been pouring my heart out. Its been cathartic, cleansing, empowering, invigorating. My firend Ehrick told me my new blog was quite bold, riske. And then I read your blurb on Myspace. I am stunned. You're bold, pouring your heart out like that to whoever.

Heres my first blog entry

http://loveandrenewal.blogspot.com/2009/10/story-of-personal-renewal.html

And this one explains a bit more

http://loveandrenewal.blogspot.com/2009/10/ive-been-stuck-in-rut-living-my-own.html

I'm not sure what happened to you, I don't need to know either, but after reading your blurb I really wanted to reach out to you and say hi.

Roger Fox

Dear stranger, I know from what you've written you're very brave.

My love for myself has taken over....... my life.

On September 15th, 2009 in mid epiphany, not sure if I was going crazy, not knowing if I could hold on to who I was, I started to realized I was in the middle of a good thing, I didn't know what it was, but it was good, the crazy waves of emotional joy and trauma started to slow in frequency and intensity. So I called my Mom. I tried to tell her what I was going thru, and you know what, she understood what was happening to me more than I could have hoped for.

A few days later we talked again, I told her I had learned about depressive triggers, things I did, or let be done to me, that in essence turned my spirit towards depression, and how I had learned to see these triggers much quicker and earlier. My Mom told me of a conversation she had over 40 years ago with a marriage councilor, that went something like this: when you start to feel like your getting down you need to play some uplifting music, music that compells you to dance. For my Mom that was Latin music ( I remember my Mom played Mariachi music ), she told me that I needed to do something like that. I told her I already was! (KTUFM, 103.5 & 97.7 in NYC metro area play some great dance music, freestyle, house, remixes and mashups)


Its now Christmas Eve, I really have my gift for this year, my freedom. Freedom from being depressed, freedom from sabotaging myself because of poor self esteem, freedom from not feeling guilty that I love myself. Let me tell you, the second half of my life is going to be a real Pissah........

I wish you could see me now, I have this great big smile on my face because I know that love has taken over :-).

Kelly Rowland Live in Bulgaria performing When Love Takes Over"

The song that is the inspiration for this blog, the song that brings a smile to my face, to my heart, to my soul, every time I hear it, every time I sing it. Kelly Rowland in Bulgaria performing an awesome version of "When Love Takes Over", you might note that Kelly sings just the title to start, and before she finishes delivering that one line the entire crowd is singing with her, testimony to the power of her number one Billboard dance hit to make people dance and sing along, and feel good. Don't forget, When Love Takes Over we all know how good it feels! Thanks to Kelly-Rowland.net for making this quality audio available.

zSHARE - Kelly-Rowland.net 04 Loop Live 2009 - When Love Takes Over.mp3

2 different places

I have a friend who is recently divorced, and is thoroughly enjoying her freedom. And has great difficulty seeing where I am, Never married, wanting to find "that girl" and take that plunge.

I believe in true pure love, she's like , what evah....

I know, I can, I will, fulfill my dreams

Sometimes I feel the need for some hi energy music and empowering and self affirmational lyrics.

It's a difficult world and you have to prove
That you're ready and you can do it

And when I feel that desire to be uplifted, when I want feel compelled to raise my arms over my head, move my hips and dance with all that I am, one of the best songs ever is Living Joys, "Dont Stop Moving". Sung by Tameka Starr (Doris Diggs), this song always cranks me up to Warp 9, give it a listen, your Dilithium Crystals will never feel better, lol!




I truly wish I had more of this ingredient in my soul when I was a younger man, but theres no time for regrets, no place for blame, theres no time to waste in the second half of my life, I've got to get it right.......

Oh yeah

Oh yeah...

You've got to

Oh yeah

Oh yeah...

You've got to get it right



You can do anything that you want to do

With your mind body and soul

Do it, prove it to yourself and say

I want (I want)

I will (I will)

I can do anything

It's a difficult world and you have to prove

That you're ready and you can do it

Nothing in this world can stop you

I know I can I will forfill my dreams



Don't stop movin'

Keep it up

Keep on movin' get it right

Yeah you've got to get it right

Oh yeah oh

Don't stop movin'

I it's your life

Keep on movin' get it right

Yeah you've got to get it right



You can be mystical magical

Physically phenomenal

Good to go

Not slow

Feel the heat and let it flow





You've got to get it right

Break up songs

I think the first break up song I "got" was Gloria Gaynor's I will survive, recently covered by the Pussycat Dolls.
I think a vital part of moving on after a break up is the self affirmation. Whitney Houston sings it real nice:

It's not right but it's okay
I'm gonna make it anyway
Pack your bags up and leave
Don't you dare come running back to me
It's not right but it's okay
I'm gonna make it anyway
Close the door behind you
Leave your key
I'd rather be alone than unhappy

But I'm gonna make it anyway. Because my soul is just that good, and any good woman is going to feel my soulshine and know that with just one touch... she'll wipe that past away.....
Self affirmation, knowing you love yourself makes it so much easier to stride right into your future. The future is where I'll find the woman who has that one touch...

I meant it, I'll love you fore ever

And it still holds true. After all thats happened in life, my first true love has stayed with me for over 20 years. That crazy intense pure love you showered me with is still there, in a special place, nice and safe. I'll carry that love with me as I move forward, as I love again, and again.

I've put you up on a pedestal, and then knocked you down. But when all is said and done I've loved, hard fast pure and true. I recognize the same in other couples, not all, some, and its not rare, but its not common. And its something I experienced after only dating you for a few months. Intense pure love.